The Meaning of Fear and Pain
by n5d25d90
Summary: The booming, lifeless voice nearly knocks me off me feet, and I stumble toward one of the turrets.  This... fail-deadly mechanism... will be aimed at Sonic... right?


Landlubbers ahoy!

It is time. Time to make my grand entrance.

Before they spot us, we jump out of sight, behind a couple of barrels to be specific.

As they approach, I call to the filth from our hiding place. "Ahoy, ye scallywags! Allow me to be showin' you a little something special o' mine!"

"And what's that?" the blue one asks. ...I forget his name. Hmm... Ah, whatever. Just a landlubber, nothing more.

"Be careful, Sonic!" Aye! That's right! Sonic! ...Why does that name be familiar? "This could be a trap!" Arrr, this yella one be perceptive.

"All right, mateys," I tell my crew. "Do it!"

"Aye-aye, sir!" Mini and Mum step out before the lubbers.

"It's time, mateys! Three, two, one, GO!" I shout, and they begin the chant.

_O ultimate evil, come forth to this world!_

_Rule the Seven Seas!_

_Justice is not welcome! Kindness is weakness!_

_Master of Evil, show unto us those mighty whiskers!_

I jump on top of the barrels, arms held up as my crew basks in my glory. "And so, it is I, the Dread Pirate Whisker!" As I say this, Mini lights some dynamite. The fuse be a bit long, and the dynamic explosion does not occur when I hope it to, but at long last it comes, and I finish my introduction with a hearty laugh. "D'ARR HAR HAR HAR!" Once the echoes died down, I whispered my praises to me crew on a job well done.

"Boss! Boss!" Mini speaks up, startling me.

Mum concludes. "Sonic and the others... look!"

Oh, right, right! I forgot. I turn to the lubbers. "Well? What do you think? Our sheer awesomeness has you speechless, I see!" I laugh again at what may as well be a victory for me crew.

"Sonic," the yella one speaks up again, "I, uh... think he wants us to say something."

Before that Sonic could even think of a response, the purple one cuts him off. "Cease these shenanigans!" Shenanigans? SHENANIGANS? "Give the scepter back NOW!"

"How DARE you?" Me glare (hopefully) pierces the soul of the purple one. "You seek to mock me splendid jig as a... shen... uh..."

...

...Wait...

...

I turn to my crew. "Men! What are 'shenanigans'?"

"Antics," I hear from the shadows. "Tomfoolery." Wait! I know that voice! It be me first mate Johnny! ...Just where in Davy Jones' Locker has he been, anyway? "In other words, they think you're a joke."

Wait... WHAT?

"A JOKE?" I fume with anger. "To Davy Jones' Locker with the lot of them!" And with that, I glare at me first mate. "And avast, there, Johnny! When'd you decide to drop on by, matey?"

"I got here as quickly as I could," Johnny defends hisself. "At my speeds, it's not easy to change direction."

"D'arr, yes, well..." I guess he has a point there.

"Johnny, you're working with these guys?" the blue one asks. ...Hey, wait! When did these guys show up? And how dare they interrupt our conversation!

"Ah, Sonic!" So that's the blue one's name... Wait, why does that sound...? "I didn't expect to see you here," Johnny continues. "What a fantastic opportunity this is."

"Opportunity for what?"

"Come! Let us have our final showdown, here and now!" Hey, wait a minute! That's right, this is MY showdown with these landlubbers!

"Arr! Johnny! Don't be stealin' me thunder here!" I warn him. I don't think he's too happy about it, but he agrees to let me do the talking. Good, because I now remember what this is all about. "And I AM serious!" I tell the scallywags. "Today, I shall teach you all the true meaning of FEAR and PAIN!"

"Fear and pain?" Why does the blue one need reminding of what I just said? Imbecile! He shall be first to go! That... uh... Sonic! That scallywag Sonic!

"Yes!" I answer him, to give him closure. "And that is... is..." Arr... "Johnny, what DOES that mean?"

"It means that you'll face them yourself," he explains to me.

"Ah, yes! Of course!" I turn to the lubbers. "You hear that? I'll blow you to bits, you meddling pests!"

Johnny laughs. "So, a little tag action, is it? You guys are toast!"

The purple one mocks us again. I take back what I said before. SHE is the first to go.

-X-

"Arr..." I try hard to stand on me own two feet. These lubbers... ain't so lubbery after all...

I hear Johnny panicking nearby. "If I go down here, then all the speed lovers all over the world will be devastated! Sorry, boss. This calls for a strategic retreat!" With that, Johnny runs off, and I fall back down.

"Johnny! Arrr!" I call out to him. "Avast, I say! Take me with you!"

It's too late. He's gone.

"So, Whisker..." I turn in fear to the blue menace. Sonic. I doubt I'll forget it again after this night. "Looks like your friend left you out to dry."

"There's no way out now," the purple one adds. "Hand over the Jeweled Scepter!"

I try to stand up, but I stumble again. Do they NOT understand? I can NOT leave here without the treasure!

They... they don't! They DON'T understand!

"Arrr, no!" I defensively hold a hand out in front of me. It shakes, and I can't seem to control it. "I can't! Ye don't understand! If I don't bring this plunder back..."

I stop. Surely they must understand now!

They're still staring at me.

They don't! They STILL don't!

"If I don't bring this plunder back," I repeat, "then ye shall all know his wrath. Savvy?"

"His?" Sonic questions, and I nod.

"Aye!" I'm finally able to get to me feet. "So you see, I clearly cannot let ye have it." I hope this explanation was enough.

"He's not listening to reason," I hear the purple one say to Sonic. W-What? NO!

"It is YOU who is not listening to reason!" I call for my crew. "D'arr, mateys! Yer captain needs ye! Show yourselves!"

Me crew members reappear from... wait, where had they gone, anyway? Why don't they tell their captain these things? "Boss!" Mini whispers. "Sorry to keep you waiting!"

"Arr," I whisper back, "well, a little warning next time, you scurvy dog."

Mum gestures to a particular direction. "Boss, look! We've found a way out!" he whispers to me.

"Arr, nice work!" I turn back to the scallywags and laugh. There ain't no way they can stop us now! The booty is ours!

"What's so funny?" the rude purple girl asks. Sonic also appears to be confused.

"You have to be rememberin', ye landlubbers, that a pirate..." I glare with as much intensity as me eye can allow, as I slowly step back toward the exit Mum had pointed out, "...has always got tricks up his sleeve."

With that, Mini throws down a smoke bomb, and before it clears, we high-tail it to freedom.

Once we reach the surface, I can't help but notice something familiar about our location...

Wait...

I remember this place! This is Big Swell! Arr! Yes! I've been here before. The creators had told me this was where they'd provide us the... device, if we needed it.

I know nothing of the device. I have seen it, but I know not what it can do. However, I have seen that yella one before, being... how did they put it... "tickled" before, by that little captain of his, and I use that term lightly. Judging from his reaction... it be brutal.

So that MUST be what this device does! With hands like that, who KNOWS how torturous its tickles must be!

The creators told me its name once. Ghost... something. Started with a T, it did. Maybe it was "Tickler"? Indeed, that'd make sense. Ghost Tickler. Arr harr! A brilliant machine indeed.

Me laugh be hearty as I turn to me crew yet again. "Aye, that's it! Look here and see!"

"Sonic," I hear distantly, "there's a hole through here!"

Arr, the yella one found the exit. No matter. These scurvy dogs are nothing more than... well... scurvy dogs! "Landlubbers like yourselves," I shout to them, "can never keep up with true buccaneers, savvy?"

Mini and Mum throw their own insults to the scallywags, and we share a good laugh as we proceed to take the scepter to our ship.

...Wait... I hear something...

"What's that noise?" I ask me crew, but before they could answer, I spy a small ship heading towards Big Swell. ...Wait. It's that lass! Their little captain! Arrr!

She jumps onto the floor before us, eyeing me down, shivering me timbers. "You can't escape from me, you no-good pirates!"

"Bail out, mateys!" I order me crew. There ain't no way she be pullin' me whiskers again!

"I'll teach you a lesson, you... you... you mustachioed menace!"

She runs up to me. It appears that something is forming around her hands, but before I can find out what it is, Mini and Mum stop in their tracks and manage to subdue my attacker.

"D'ARR HARR HARR!" I laughed. This so-called captain. Humph! What a joke. Me timbers hadn't shivered for a second! "Arr... what do we have here? A wee lass thinkin' to sneak up on me, it seems."

"N-no!" the lass struggles to break free from me crew's grasp. "L-let me go!"

"Arr, yer a fiesty little sea dog, then, aren't ye?" I taunt, basking in the beautiful moment.

"You... bushy-faced freak!"

WHAT? "B... Bushy-faced? You really must learn to watch that tongue of yours, lass!" I tap my metallic chin in thought. "Arr, let's see... how best to teach ye that lesson?" Oh... there's an idea... "Mateys, bring out... the device!"

"Yes, boss! The device!" Mini repeats, and he runs off. To make sure the lass stays put, I grab hold of her meself.

"W-What are you going to do to me?" she asks in fear. Arr... she should just stay where she belongs... on LAND.

After she asks that, the darker side of Big Swell lights up, indicating that Mini has activated the device. Sure enough, it stirs, and reaches a hand out to the lass.

"Ahoy!" I gesture toward the large machine, and the lass only has enough time to be surprised before the hand grabs her and raises her up into the air. "This here be a gift from me boss, the most torturin' of tortures! I call him..." I chuckle evilly, "...Mr. Tickler."

She panics, which brings me utmost joy. "Now, I do hope ye be ready for the tickling of a lifetime, lass!" I threaten, and she screams for mercy. Mercy which I will never give her, lest she pull me whiskers again!

"Marine!" Arr! Thar be that blue one again! That... Sonic guy!

"Y-you guys! You came for me! Oh, I knew you would, mates!" The lass believes she will be saved? BAH! This device was given to me by the creators for a reason. These scallywags will be out of me whiskers forever after today!

"Whisker!" the purple one shouts at me. I vaguely remember she be important... "Let Marine go!"

"Sorry, matey," I bow my hat at the landlubbers, "but it'll take a wee bit more than soft words to get me to bend. If ye want the lass back, then swear a pirate's oath... to me!" Arr, I know this one's important somehow. I know I recall her from somewhere. But I still sense this will strike a chord nonetheless. "Well, what say you, mateys? Or would ye rather leave the lass to her fate?"

The purple one turns to Sonic and the yella one, and they begin to whisper something. Something I probably won't like. Arrr... "Speak up, landlubbers! I can't hear ye!"

The huddle breaks up, and the yella one turns around, pointing in some odd direction. "Aha, look! There's the Jeweled Scepter!"

"W-WHAT?" I thought WE had it! "How did it get...? D'ARR!" No matter! That scepter is OURS!

I rush down the direction the yella one had pointed, but I can't find it. "Where is that scepter?"

"Boss!" I hear Mum shout from a distance. "The scepter's over here!"

"What? ...W-wait... so then... that means..." I've been DUPED!

And once I come to that realization, I see Sonic jump up into the hand of Mr. Tickler, which causes the device to release the lass. The purple one manages to save the lass from falling hard on the floor.

ARRR! NO! It can't end this way! "Mini! Mum! Man the guns!" I order them, and they go their separate directions. As Mum passes me, I grab the scepter from him. "For safe keeping, of course. I won't forget this again!"

-X-

Arr! This is, without a doubt, one of the greatest battles I've ever seen! Who knew the Ghost Tickler could do so much? I hope Mini and Mum are okay though. Those two pests had used the turrets constantly to attack the device. But the device will prevail! I just know it! My creators even said there was some sort of fail-deadly mechanism inside the machine. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like victory to me.

The machine is faster now; perhaps it has adapted to the speed of the lubbers. I have to admit, on land they are pretty quick.

Arrr, faster yet! The turrets, the missiles, the machine itself... Shiver me timbers! I'm overwhelmed! I am almost struck with missiles a few times, but thanks to me breaths o' fire, I keep them at bay.

But suddenly, after one final strike... an explosion ahoy!

And another!

And another!

How could this happen?

How could they defeat the...?

**_"GHOST TITAN FAIL-DEADLY MECHANISM ACTIVATED."_**

The booming, lifeless voice nearly knocks me off me feet, and I stumble toward one of the turrets. "ARRR! Mum! Mum! Are ye well?" This... fail-deadly mechanism... will be aimed at Sonic, right? Or the purple one? They're standing right in front of the device!

The machine crosses its arms in front of its face, and I feel a pit of terror in me circuitry. "Crew! Abandon ship! ABANDON SH-"

YAAAARGH! I'm knocked off Big Swell as the great beams of light destroyed the turrets. "NOO!" I grieve for me crew, and soon I'm grieving for meself.

I look back up at Big Swell, which looks smaller and smaller as I'm swept farther down under the sea, and closer to Davy Jones.

"...Boss... Doctor..." I feel... sparkly... I'm... short... circuiting...

Do... my creators... my bosses... even care?

Will... they...?

Zzzt!

Putting me... willingly... in such danger...

Zzzt!

Johnny... you lucky... sea dog, you...

Don't make... the same... mistake!

Zzzt!

Davy Jones...

I await thee...

Zzzt!

Big Swell...

It's glowing... blinding white...

So... pretty... like treasure...

So... zzzzzt...

Zzzzzzzt...

**-X-**

**I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic Rush Adventure, or the characters within.**

**This oneshot assumes Whisker was destroyed and "Mr. Tickler" was Ghost Titan (and not an actual tickling device). Both are merely fan speculation.**


End file.
